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Embrace your pain

Life is all about losing yourself in pain said Ruchika a Thirty-eight years old woman to me. Those were the first words I heard from a depressed daughter!!
Oh! Let me introduce myself. I am Julie a counselor and tarot card reader from Bangalore (India). I have been into reading cards from a very young age.I am also a part of the privileged community of tarot card readers which reaches people worldwide. Often we all chat and discuss cases online and call each other too if required. Our small world is full of magic and it gives me immense pleasure and satisfaction to contribute my knowledge and my sincere efforts in making this world a better place to live in.
I was looking through my case files today and recalled Ruchika and her story. I had met Ruchika through one of my clients Meera, who had benefited from my readings some time ago. Meera was also from Bangalore and she and Ruchika were best friends. Bereft of the material and the spiritual world Ruchika had knocked the doors of my house on a sunny morning three months ago. The door was answered by my maid who had directed her towards my “magical room”.I have named it magical room but it is my professional area where I meet my clients. When I met her for the first time she passed a half smile to me. The girl had twinkling hazel eyes and her hairdo was simple. She let her hair dance around and the length of her hair was kissing her shoulders. My eyes were also scanning her attire which was perfect. She was dressed in a white and grey suit and one could make out that the girl enjoyed taking care of herself. But! yes, the story gets stuck when we use the word but. But her voice trembled when she whispered a hello to me while biting her parched lips with her teeth.
I smiled and asked her to take a seat and offered her some water. Her hands were nicely manicured with red nail polish shining on her nails. Looking at her hand I realized it was time for me also to get manicure and pedicure done. After all, that is the time you let go of pains and enjoy some good massage.
She was wearing diamond rings on almost all her fingers. I was gazing at her beautiful rings when she broke the silence by clearing her throat. Sigh! My aura of Venus didn’t last long and I was back to the world where pain lies. I smiled and asked her if she would like to draw the cards first. She smiled in affirmation and I directed her towards my desk where I usually do my tarot readings. She sat in front of me and I shuffled my cards asking her to think about her question and stop me when she feels that her question is crystal clear in her head. I prayed for the divine guidance and started shuffling my cards. Ruchika was too quick to stop me as if she was already ready with her question. I opened my eyes and let Ruchika draw a card from my deck and It came out to be the queen of cups. I asked her if her query is related to her mother and she nodded in a yes with lots of nervousness on her face.It seemed as if I was going to tell her the result of her test. I asked her to breath deep and feel at ease. One more time I offered her water and she gulped it all in one go, spilling some on her clothes too. I asked her to draw another card and this time it was Tower. I told her I could see some major problem and she again nodded in affirmation. I asked her to open up and come out clearly with the question now. She said, My mum, I mean my mother. She has been suffering from throat cancer and what if she dies. I don’t want her to die and she started crying. I asked her to calm down. I asked her if she was married. Her reply surprised and confused me.She replied no I am responsible. Confused I asked her what she meant by these words. She said that she chose not to get married because she had grown up seeing her parents fight constantly.Life is all about losing yourself in pain. She had a younger sister too who had gone abroad for studies and decided not to come back ever. Her younger sister was now happily married and was a mother to a beautiful daughter.

I could feel that Ruchika was not happy. I asked her if she ever fell in love and she nodded a strong NO and added I am only concerned about my mother. I am taking good care of her besides there are nurses too who are taking care of her but I want to know whether my mother would survive or not.
I wanted to take a deep breath, I wanted to talk to her but I saw how restless and closed she was so without wasting further time I asked her to draw another card and this time it was the Hanged Man. I could have interpreted it correctly for her but this was the first time in my career of tarot reading that I chose to lie. I told her that her mother would be okay soon. The truth was that I could see that her mother was stuck in this world and the world beyond, maybe because of her love for her daughter. But I chose not to tell her. This girl Ruchika was surrounded by strong negative forces and I could see that no amount of counseling would help because she was adamant in not listening to. Ruchika took a deep breath and before I could utter another word she opened her purse and many notes of 2000 spilled all over my desk. I looked at the notes and then at her. She squinted at me and then apologized for not keeping money intact in her purse and asked me how much she should be paying for the reading.
I thought for a while because I knew I had not given her the reading right. I did not want to take any money from her and let her go but if I would not take the money then she could doubt the reason beyond hence I smiled and uttered a 500 rupee note would do.
That’s it! Meera told me that you charge 3000 rs for an hour said Ruchika.
Yes, indeed, but I do not see you opening up to me. You got your reading done to look for only one particular answer and not a solution You are closed to everything.
She looked down as if she was thinking something. I got up from my seat to show her the door. She followed me and then suddenly stopped. I asked her if she was okay?
I am sorry. I just don’t know what I am doing right now. I am confused, disturbed and scared at the same time and while saying these words Ruchika sat on the sofa again where she was sitting earlier.
Hmmm now she is talking I thought to myself. I sat beside her. I held her hand and told her to speak her heart without any fear.
For next half hour, she sat by my side and cried and told me how much she loved her parents. I asked her what profession her father followed and she told me that her father used to be a businessman and after he met failure in his business he decided to shut down everything and stay put at home. He declared his retirement to the family. I was 20 at that time, and my sister was 4 years younger to me. I chose to work for a call center at that time. The downfall that we had faced was recovered in a year. After that, I was offered a job of a senior manager in a factory and my salary doubled to one lac per month. No doubt the job was tough and it also required me to travel. I worked extra hours and made handsome amount. With time, I kept on changing jobs and landed up here in this company that offers me 3 lac per month and overtime too. I was engrossed in earning money to give a luxurious life to my parents and all was going well. My sister was happily married by now and we all were happy for her too.
Then one horrific day, my mother who was suffering from viral vomited blood. We at once rushed her to the hospital and after series of tests, the doctor told us that she was suffering from throat cancer. My mother was kept under observation and was also operated thrice. Last two times she recovered too but this time the doctor says there is no hope.
I have brought her back home with little hope. I try to do all her things on my own.I try to keep her happy. I keep praying for a miracle from God but I am not able to see a positive ray.
I calmed her down and asked her what has she done for herself while earning all this money. She stared at me and said I am a typical Indian obedient kid of my parents. For me, my duty towards my parents comes first. They brought me into this world, they took care of me when I was a kid and now when I am a grown-up woman, it is my duty to take care of them and especially my mother because she has gone thru lots of sacrifices for me and our family.
Yes, you are right and I too have my family values like you but that doesn’t mean that I should get so engrossed in taking care of everyone that when the time comes there might be no one to take care of me.
Now, these words made her sit straight and Ruchika questioned me what do you mean?
What I mean is. It is good that you are taking responsibility for your parents but what about you. You have to have a family too so that when you become old or sick someone should be able to take care of you.
We are born in this world where nothing lasts forever, Your mother, look at her, she is suffering and she is holding on to life only for you because she is not able to see you settled in your life Ruchika.
Ruchika sat there thinking and staring at my desk.
I gave her time to contemplate on what I had said. There was pin-drop silence. I let that silence stay for a while. I sat near her and touched her shoulder as if I was trying to call her back from some unknown world.
Ruchika whispered. You lied to me
Excuse me. I was not expecting her to utter these words.
She looked at me and repeated, you lied to me that she is going to live.
I was in dilemma. She was telling me on my face that I had lied and I didn’t know what to say.
She stood up and I asked her to wait. She looked at me and said why? You could have told me the truth but you chose to lie.
That was when my voice became firm and strong and I knew it was not me who was talking to her. It was some other mysterious voice who forcibly made me say “I did not lie, I said nothing lasts forever and she is stuck between both the worlds because she wants to see you happily married”.
With tears in her eyes, she left in a huff saying she has my number and she will call me.

That day onwards I never met her. I did not discuss this case even with my Tarot community but I believe that whenever the chapter lived repeated it holds an insight. I wonder why after three months of this episode, her name had appeared again? What is the insight? Am I going to meet her again or I am going to encounter the same kind of an episode with someone else. What is my learning and where do I fall in between the war of truth and lies.
I turned her page and closed my diary. I felt cold, the weather signaled the beginning of winters. There was a knock in my magical room.Suddenly my two naughty toddlers entered without even seeking my permission. Hearing them giggle and holding them in my arms was my biggest blessing at this very moment. I took a deep breath and offered my gratitude to God for my happy world

 

 

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Chapter 18 The Pain

Ruchika looked at her watch, it was 3 am. She was confused with Robby getting up and trying to freshen up so early. What is wrong Robby she asked.
Robby ignored her questions and hushed her to keep quiet. Just get ready fast. Ruchika was confused. She went to the washroom and came out dressed. She still had the same question. But why are we getting ready so early?
Robby: Shhh, why can’t you be quiet for a while. You will wake up the old woman. We have to leave now.
Ruchika: But why? First, tell me.
Robby: Because we do not have money to travel and this is the time when loaded trucks are allowed to travel. We need to look for a truck to travel to Illinois.
Ruchika: But we can go back to New York and ask Bob to arrange the trip for us.
Robby came close to her, held her in his arms and said: My love, Remember, you only told me that you don’t have much time left in hands, your visa would finish in another 10 days. We cannot waste time like this. Let’s just get out of here. He held her hand and they quietly came out of the house. Ruchika scribbled a short thank you note and left it for the old lady on the dining table. Holding Robby’s hand she rushed towards the toll bridge. They saw many trucks were standing in the toll queue. Robby asked Ruchika to stand in a corner while he tried to figure out where the trucks were going. He, at last, heard one truck driver describing his route to another. That was almost halfway. Robby decided to hop for half way.
Robby hopped in the truck while the truck driver was busy paying the toll. He held Ruchika’s hand and asked her to jump in quickly. Ruchika was hesitant for a while. She said: It’s not wise to get into someone’s truck without taking their permission.
Robby sealed her lips with a kiss asking her to chill.
They both hid till the driver started his truck for his journey. The weather was beautiful. Ruchika and Robby were lying above some material in the truck. They were gazing at the sky. The sky was full of dancing stars. Ruchika said: You know Robby, I realize now that I have wasted so much of my life. It is so strange that I have never looked at the sky and seen the beauty it holds. Thanks to you that I am witnessing this beauty. Never knew that the world holds so much of natural beauty.
Robby asked in total surprise, then what were you busy with? I am sure you didn’t have a boyfriend who took all your time, he said it with a wink.
Ruchika rolled herself on his chest and said: I was busy earning money, my love.
He held her from her waist and said: you know we know nothing about each other. This is a beautiful place and I guess perfect timing to know each other. So tell me, darling, what did you do back in India?
Ruchika tried to roll back but Robby held her so tight in his arms that she started giggling. She asked him to let her go but he said: If it is causing you a discomfort then go otherwise be close to me. Ruchika was looking at him lovingly. He jolted her closer and said: So, tell me I am waiting to hear. Ruchika remained in his arms and said: I am a textile designer by profession.
Robby immediately released her from his arms and sat straight. He looked at her and said: You are joking. Right?
Ruchika laughed and said: No, why would I joke. I am a textile designer and I work for a German company at a senior post.
They were still holding hands. Ruchika said: you know about me what about you. What do you do for a living? Robby laughed and said: Honestly I do nothing. I get bored easily. Wherever I have worked I have not worked for more than 6 months.
But you must be having some chosen field: said Ruchika
Robby said: No not at all ma’am I am not that literate. I have not even completed my graduation.
Why is that Robby asked Ruchika with concern?
Because my old man who used to take care of me passed away when I was in my last year of graduation.
Ruchika was quiet, though she wanted to know about Robby’s family background.
Robby could read her thoughts. He understood that Ruchika was curious to know about his family.
He said I was six when this old man found me in a cemetery. He used to work there and often used to tell me, I have brought you from dead so be grateful to me. He did his best. He took care of me like his own and gave me whatever I desired for. Robby turned his face and started looking on the other side of the road as if he was lost in his own world.
Ruchika held his hand and asked what about your real parents.
Robby: I don’t remember them. I only remember my mother’s blue twinkling eyes. She was the princess of my fairytales when I was a young boy.
Ruchika was a bit hesitant. She probed a bit more trying hard not to sound too nosy. This guy who took care of you, was he a family man?
He looked at her and said: No, he was not married. He often used to bring a woman home. But then it was just me and him. The old man loved me very much and took care of my education but when I was in my last year of graduation, suddenly life took a turn and he was no more. He had a heart attack.
I am sorry Robby. Why didn’t you try to finish your graduation when you were doing these jobs, you could have settled around.
Ruchika, I was not interested and trust me, I still don’t know what to do with my life. I often used to think that I was about to die because l used to get an unexplained shooting pain in my leg. That used to make my life hell for seconds but from the day I have met you, I have hardly felt any pain.
You too! exclaimed Ruchika. She recalled her times when she also used to have shooting pain in her leg but since her NDE she had forgotten about the pain.
Ruchika said: You know Robby, I too used to get such pain in my legs and suddenly it vanished when I came back to life.
Did you just say that you come back to life, asked a surprised Robby?
Robby, after my mother left this world, I too didn’t know what to do with my life. I became cranky, moody and would often hate myself for even existing in this world. Suddenly, one day, I was dead and I saw my body as a soul. Once I was out of my body, I met my mother and she sent me back saying it was not my time yet.
Really? So you had a Near Death Experience Ruchika.
Yes. After coming back to life within three days, I flew to New York and here I am with you.
Oh! This is very recent then, I guess.
Yes: said Ruchika
They both were quiet now. Robby was searching for words to console her and Ruchika thought that she made a mistake by telling Robby of her NDE. To clean the air, Ruchika said: anyway, back to your career, why don’t you pursue your hobby.
A hobby?
Yes, a hobby, like driving, dancing, swimming etc.
I don’t have any hobbies like such. I don’t even know if I have a hobby at all.
Everyone does. Think about it. Sometimes people tend to make their living by doing what they like and love.
Robby thought hard and said: well, I remember, in college, I used to draw pictures. Yes, I love to draw when I am alone.
Ruchika smiled, then go ahead and create your living from that instead of doing these small jobs here and there.
Robby was a pessimist and it was not easy to convince him. He tried putting off the discussion by saying, it is not that easy as it looks.
Ruchika tried convincing him by giving him examples of well-known people who became famous by making living from their hobby.
Robby was looking and smiling at her innocence wondering why she wants him to have a career.
He suddenly asked her the reason for her persuasion and she said what will you do if you marry. Live on your wife’s money!!
He looked at her and gave a sarcastic smile. It was a clear indication from Ruchika that she was interested in marrying him. He said you don’t know much about me but one thing is for sure that you won’t have to work if we get married. Ruchika’s face went all red. She was blushing like a new bride.
That was when the truck stopped and Robby told Ruchika to jump fast as from here they needed to make some other arrangements to travel.
How will we go and where are we right now asked Ruchika with tension all over her face.
No worries. Calm down. We are in Ohio. We have covered half way. It is a 14 hours journey from NewYork Madam. We need to look for a bus from here to Chicago and then we will find our way from Chicago to Illinois, he said with a smile.
Ruchika asked him how can you smile in such a situation. We do not have money in hand. Let us call Bob.
Robby was standing there thinking hard. He looked at her and said: Do not depend on others when you can do your job on your own. Let Bob live happily in New York. We will find our way together.
Ruchika looked at him wondering if he has such a mindset why he keeps on losing jobs.
Robby kept on walking along with Ruchika asking about her life and discussing some parts of his life too. They crossed the highway talking and walking happily. That was when suddenly Robby felt a sudden pain in his chest. He stood there only and tried calling Ruchika, who was walking ahead admiring the nature and was in her own world. She was busy telling Robby about her journey from a textile designing student to a manager. She did not even realize that she was walking all alone. She looked here and there, but could not spot Robby anywhere. She had a panic attack. She yelled and rushed from here to there. The road was empty and she could not find him anywhere. That was when she decided to take a lift but suddenly her heart said what if Robby comes back looking for her here. Maybe, he went back to find help. There were numerous questions running through her heart about his vanishing act. She quietly sat on the side of the road and kept praying for Robby to come. Lots of cars passed by but nobody stopped to even ask her why she was standing there. Sometimes cars went slow and looked at her like she was some call girl waiting on the road. Today she was very angry on Robby. She kept on praying to God to send Robby soon. She decided to move ahead slowly and found a tee point after a while. She saw many buses around and thought maybe Robby would come here directly considering that highway was not the right place to wait for her. She sat in a corner quietly. Tears were falling on her cheek. She suddenly saw a huge man with big fat tummy, standing in front of her and crying. First, she chose to ignore but when she realized that he was not moving away and sat by her side she felt bit irritated. She looked at him without saying a word. He looked back at her. Ruchika felt anger and irritation inside her. She was not in a mood to speak to anyone. On his own, this man started the conversation with Ruchika telling her that all his life he never respected any woman, not even his own mother, wife or daughter. He said he was into the business of human trafficking and would use every woman before selling her. He was a sex maniac all his life. But one day he sexually abused a three-year-old girl. She died when he was doing this horrific act. He continued saying that after that day he could not sleep for years. The eyes of that 3-year-old girl haunt him and he would not get a place even in hell.
Ruchika asked him his name. He told her that his name is Tammy. She continued saying Tammy: You did wrong to a 3-year-old girl. She was brought up by with so much of love in the world. You ended her life even before it could begin. You are a monster.
Tammy said: Indeed I am and I realize it now. That girl may have born out of love but her father had sold her to me for 15,000 dollars. I was under the influence of cocaine when this little angel came to me. From that day onwards, look at my body, look at my face. I started gaining weight and my face has all these scars which I don’t even know how they have appeared. My own daughter was sexually abused by my partner and she committed suicide. My wife left me and got married to someone else. My mother refuses to recognize me. It all happened after I did those nasty things to that little girl but I am fed up now I want peace, I want you to forgive me.
Me? Why me? Asked Ruchika in a surprised tone.

He kept on crying and said because you are younger to me. The girl must have been of your age today if she would have been alive or maybe little elder to you. Please forgive me. I beg and ask for your forgiveness.
Ruchika said: I don’t know why, but the moment I saw you I was irritated and I hated you. Now when I see you begging like this, I ask God to forgive you and help you to be on the right path. Your increased weight is your insecurities that you carry. Try to overcome that. I will pray for you.
Tammy started smiling. Ruchika turned her attention towards the road to see if Robby was coming her way. But suddenly that same white spark passed in front of her eyes. She looked around to find Tammy only to find him nowhere.
Ruchika was tired she was awake from 3 am and now it was almost 4 pm and she could not spot Robby anywhere. She was feeling sleepy but she tried to keep herself awake. She didn’t realize that she slept on the pavement. That was when once again her mother appeared in her dreams. Ruchika was very happy to see her one more time and rushed towards her to hug her. How are your vacations going on my dear child?
This time Ruchika was concerned, Mother from the day, I have come here I see people,so many people sitting around and crying. I don’t know how and why I approach them or sometimes they just sit by my side and start telling me their story.
I wonder how words come into my mouth and I give them suggestions. At that time, I feel so sagacious as if I have all the knowledge. What is happening mother?
Her mother kept smiling and said you will have all the answers pretty soon my dear. Keep forgiving and keep moving. With this, she disappeared. Robby was shaking Ruchika and asking her what was she doing here? Why are you sleeping on the pavement?
Ruchika took time to come back to her senses. Once she was back she was very angry. She shouted at Robby asking him why he had left her in the middle of the road.
Did I leave you? How can I and why will I? Your soul has bewitched my soul and even if I leave this body my soul would always be yearning for you to be mine. I am madly in love with you Ruchika. I love you; said Robby with a smile.
Ruchika’s anger was like hot boiling water. The temperature of her anger wooshed off when she heard those three magical words and softly asked him where were you, Robby?
I was searching help. Come it’s time to hop in another truck that would take us to Chicago.
Without money? she asked
Isn’t it Adventurous? I have never done this in ages.
Really? Asked Ruchika. How old are you?

Chapter 17 Moving Forward

While sleeping, Ruchika saw her mother, younger, glowing and beautiful. Her mother lovingly opened her arms to embrace her and Ruchika smilingly rushed in her arms. They both hugged each other and then her mother said, I am happy for you. I am happy that you are moving forward and embracing your pain while treating it as your strength now. My dear daughter, this life is a blessing. We live on the earth for the growth of our soul. I do not wish that you lose the second chance that God has given to you.

Remember, never let your faith in Krishna fade. He knows what he is doing and he would send me from time to time to help you.

Ruchika: Mother, I know you are with me, I feel your presence around me, especially whenever I have felt like giving up. But strangely nowadays, I have started hearing voices in my head. Who is it and why I keep hearing it. I don’t understand. I feel baffled mother.

Ruchika saw her mother laughing hard. She asked: What is so funny mom.

Nothing my dear girl, you will know who is trying to speak to you, at the right time and yes, meanwhile trust Robby is a good man. Remember, you have to complete your mission on earth.

Before Ruchika could hug her mother again and ask her about her mission on earth, she felt that someone was shaking her hard. She opened her eyes with difficulty. In a jiffy, she was back in the material world and realized that Robby was trying to wake her up.

What are you doing, get up Ruchika screamed, Robby

What have I done asked a puzzled Ruchika?

Robby screamed: What is wrong with you? Can’t you see the house is about to burn down? By now, Ruchika was coughing hard. She was unable to breathe at all. Robby picked her up in his arms and rushed her outside. Ruchika held on to his strong arms. She felt so secure in his arms.In fact, the fire all around was not bothering her at all. She was smilingly looking at Robby.

Ruchika felt like she was being rescued by her prince charming. A tiny voice in her mind was asking her: Hey, are you in love with him? Ruchika shooed away the voice shyly. Robby was looking at her all confused. He shook her and said: Ruchika I am worried. Are you all right? Ruchika again smiled and said: Of course more than any time.
Robby’s spoke in a worried tone: Silly girl, you would have choked to death. Why didn’t you run? What happened there? How did the fire break?
Robby was full of questions he kept on asking: Who did all this. This time his stress level was high since Ruchika was not responding and only looking at him with a smile on her face. He jolted her hard and said: For god sake, tell me what happened there?

Ruchika was in a wreck when she came back to her senses because she wasn’t aware what was happening around her.

She told Robby that when Robby left her to fetch food for them, she was looking for her cell phone to call her sister. She couldn’t find it in her bag, so to avoid nervousness and a panic attack she sat down and was breathing deeply to calm her senses without realizing that she fell off to sleep.

And you couldn’t even feel that the fire was all around asked Robby anxiously. Robby held Ruchika in her arms and said: Foolish girl, what would I have done if something would have happened to you.
Ruchika was still in his arms. She was in a different world with him in her thoughts and said: I know, you would not let anything happen to me.
Their eyes met and they could feel a spark of fire in between them. Robby muffled: My crazy girl
Suddenly Ruchika said: Robby see my cellphone is lying there on the table.
The house was almost engulfed in fire. Robby asked her you really want it, and without even waiting for her to answer he ran inside the home.
Ruchika screamed: Robby don’t!!
But Robby was already inside. In a jiffy, he emerged out of the house with Ruchika’s phone and purse.
Ruchika was in tears now and clinging to him said: you fool what would I do if anything happened to you.
Robby: Till you are with me nothing will happen my Princess.
Ruchika looked into his eyes and said: Promise me that you will never leave me alone.
Robby: I would rather die than leave you alone.
That was a magical moment. They were in each other’s arms. Even the fire around was not bothering them.
They were in their little world when they heard some voices coming towards them.
Robby let go Ruchika from his arms and tried to figure out what was going on. He realized some people had seen the fire and were coming to help them.
Robby chuckled: Oh God why now of all the times!!
Ruchika smiled away shyly.

The people who had rushed to help them and extinguish the fire told them that they were not standing at a safe place. Robby saw an old woman in that group of people. He used his charm on her and requested her if Ruchika and he could stay with her overnight. He told her that it was getting dark and would not like to risk anything with his princess around. The old woman smiled and told them to follow her. Once in her home, she asked Robby what he was doing in that cursed haunted home. She told them that the house is haunted for last 30 years. If any person tries to stay in that home or even come close to it the house gets engulfed in fire.
Robby and Ruchika both were in shock. Robby said: Mam it must be three years not thirty.
The old lady smiled and said its thirty young man.

Ruchika and Robby looked at each other confused, but Robby signaled Ruchika to keep quiet. The old lady gave them food to eat. Once on the dining table, she started telling them about the house and the members of the family. She told them that the house belongs to Tom Robbinson and his wife Nancy Robbinson. The family was happy staying in the house. Actually, it was Nancy’s house and Tom was her father’s favorite worker in the factory. Nancy and Tom fell in love and soon got married. Tom was a good man, he would help anyone who would come in his way and he was the most loved man around in the neighborhood. The life of Nancy and Tom was so admired that people would often compliment that they were made for each other. They were blessed with a child whose name was Jim Robbinson.He loved his mother more than his father and would never let Nancy disappear from his sight.

With time, the business kept on increasing. Nancy’s father was growing old. With old age came disease and he was unable to look after the business. He handed over all the business responsibilities to Tom.
Tom was a nice god fearing man. He loved his wife and his son a lot. Before Nancy’s father passed away he made a will which read that the whole property along with the house and business was for his grandchild Jim. Tom did not feel jealous of his son like other people say that he did. There are rumors that he killed his own son for the business but that is not true. I know the family very closely because I used to work there.

The problem in their marriage began when workload increased and it became difficult for Tom to handle the responsibilities single-handedly. He chose to go into partnership with a well-known business tycoon, Ms. Andrea.

Ms. Andrea not only took half of the business at the beginning of the partnership but also snatched Tom’s family time. She shifted in their house. Soon fights started between Nancy and Tom and one fateful day, Tom decided to take his family away for few days for a short vacation. They all went together but it was just Tom who returned after many months. He said that he had lost his son in an accident and Nancy was in a hospital because she went into depression after their son died. After a while, Ms. Andrea married Tom and took over all the business. After their marriage, suddenly strange things started happening in the house. Some say it is the spirit of Jim that roams around searching for his mother and some say that it is Tom’s father in law demanding him to bring his daughter and grandson back.

Soon Ms. Andrea and Mr. Robbinson left this place and shifted to Illinois.

Ruchika was leaning on Robby’s shoulder and hearing the story. Both of them had not interrupted the old lady while she was telling them about the family. Both of them were also wondering why Bob had lied to them. Ruchika asked the old lady if she had an address for Mr. Robbinson. The old woman got up and came with a diary. She opened it and gave them a landline phone number. Ruchika dialed that number but a recording came up that no such number existed. The old woman then tells them that she has an address too. Ruchika jots down that in her diary but Robby wondered aloud what if the address turns out to be fake. Ruchika said we have no option but to check. The old lady then said: It’s late now why don’t you both get some rest. She showed them a room to sleep. When they entered the room they saw it had a small bed. Robby said to Ruchika: The old woman must be thinking that we are a couple.
Ruchika blushed for a minute and then gathered her wits and said: No you must have told her that we are a couple so that you could have more time with me.
Robby came close very close to Ruchika, held her in his arms and laughingly said: You know what? I did say that.
Ruchika: Shameless you are. What if I scream now that you are taking advantage of me, she said smilingly.
Robby: Oh really then I would have no other option than to seal your lips. And with this, he planted a passionate kiss on Ruchika’s lips.
Ruchika was mesmerized. She had never been kissed by anyone. She didn’t know what to do. She closed her eyes and let the moment go deep in her.
Both did not know how long they kissed.When Robby let go of Ruchika he smiled and said: My Indian princess has never been kissed.Wow!!
Ruchika: What! how do you know I mean No it’s not my first time. She blushed
Robby: Its okay my love don’t worry. I will teach you in no time he said laughing.
Ruchika: How mean you are.
Ruchika tried changing the conversation and said anyways I am very tired I want to sleep now. They looked at that one single bed. Robby cleared his throat and said no worries, you can sleep on the bed while I will sleep on the floor. Ruchika sat on one side of the bed. She said: I have control on myself and I know I will not do anything to you even if you sleep beside me if you think you can control yourself then hop on. Its too late and I am feeling dead tired. Robby did not waste a minute and rushed towards the other side of the bed. They both kept the cushions between the bed and slept.

The night was silent and Ruchika closed her eyes to sleep. She was smiling and thinking of her first kiss when she felt that someone was outside their window. She could also hear that person crying. she wanted to tell this to Robby but he was fast asleep. Ruchika stood up and opened the window. She saw a young woman wearing black high neck having long straight hair standing there and crying. Ruchika had heard many ghosts story. She was fearful for a minute but then gathered her courage and asked: Who are you and why are you crying?
The woman looked at her and said: I am sad, I am not happy living this life.

Why whispered Ruchika since Robby was sleeping.
Because I married a man against my parent’s wishes. Once I bore a girl child to that man he stopped loving me. He abused me and took my daughter. I feared the worst for my daughter so I requested my parents to at least take my child under their guidance. I tried everything to please this man but he left me for another young woman. Now I am left all alone and I am dragging my life cursing this man every day. Had I heeded my parents choice, I would not only be happy but would have been supported by them too. This life is a burden now. I wish I could kill this man along with my daughter.

Ruchika smiled and said: first of all, stop blaming. It was your choice and your decision. Holding grudge against them would not bring any happiness to you. Look at you, you are cursing them and crying. Would they be bothered wherever they would be?
Listen, I don’t want to get involved in your story asking how and when your husband left, but I would only ask you to forgive them and before that do forgive yourself. Whatever happened, you were destined to do that. If not this man it could have been any man even the one your parents would have chosen for you. What if after that also the same happened to you?
Practice forgiveness and eventually, they will return to you. Your parents will also forgive you and you can love your daughter one more time.
But before that forgive self, otherwise they will follow you to your next birth and the same drama will happen again.

The woman wiped her tears and said: I will try what you are telling me to do. I don’t want them to follow me in my next birth for sure. I can forgive them especially my daughter but will my daughter forgive me?
Of course, your daughter is a woman too, when she will be in your shoe she would. Give her some time.
Had you been my daughter, would you have forgiven me for leaving you with your father.
Ruchika realized that the story she is saying is hers. She thought for a while and then said yes, I would.

She smiled and said thank you for your help. With this, she went away. Like always, Ruchika felt a white spark in front of her eyes and she felt more relaxed and happy. She peeped outside one more time but could not see anything. She quickly closed the window and went to her side of the bed, only to experience a big leg of Robby struggling with cushions to reach her. She wanted to laugh but acted as if she too was sleeping peacefully. After few minutes Robby woke her up and asked her to get ready…

Chapter 16 The Accident

Embrace your pain The beginning

 

Chapter 16 The Accident

Oh, My God! What happened to you? Why are you crying asked Ruchika to Isabelle?
Isabelle looked at Ruchika and walked away towards the washroom to wash her face. She came back with tears in her eyes. She said: I lost my job today. Bob tried helping me with a job with one of his client, but unfortunately, the person met with an accident and is now in a serious condition. While they were talking, her phone rang. Ruchika overhears the conversation. Isabelle was saying to someone: Yes, I will visit him at the hospital tomorrow. Once Isabella finished her call. She shrugged her shoulders saying: what a life God has given me. Things are just not working!

Ruchika felt sorry for her. She wanted to hug her but Isabelle ignored her and went into her room. Ruchika felt her behavior was weird but also understood that she was disturbed. She let her be!

Next morning, Ruchika accompanied Isabelle to the hospital.

There she saw Robby was sitting in the corridor with his head down. Ruchika let Isabelle visit her friend and stopped near Robby to ask him what was he doing there.

Robby had sadness written all over his face. He ignored Ruchika’s question and got up to go towards the water cooler to have some water.

Ruchika walked behind him, she hesitated for a moment but then put her hand on his shoulder and asked: What is the matter, Robby?
Robby shrugged his shoulders and asked: how does it matter to you?

Ruchika said: Treat me as your friend, please. I am here to help.

Robby smiled and said some other time. At this Ruchika excused herself and turned to see where Isabelle was but Robby stopped her insisting that they should now move to Bob’s office, as he would be waiting for them to hand over the case they had discussed last night.
They saw Isabelle coming out of the room. She announced that she will also accompany them to Bob’s office. They agreed to go together. Isabelle was driving and sobbing while Ruchika and Robby were looking out of the window car. In some time, all three reached Bob’s office together.

Isabelle was sitting quietly in Bob’s office. Ruchika thought maybe Isabelle was not comfortable in talking to Bob in their presence. She tried to comfort her but Isabelle refused to listen. Bob did not even bother to greet anyone of them today. He looked disturbed too. He suddenly was acting very professional with them. He looked at Ruchika and Robby and started telling them about the case instead of giving them Nancy’s file. The information he gave was very minimal. All he told them was that Nancy had come to his hospital after she went into a severe depression on meeting with an accident. In that accident, she had lost her only son who was only seven years of age at that time. Nancy had blamed and accused her husband of her son’s death because her son had inherited the property from his maternal grandfather.
The police investigated and closed the case as they found no foul play.
We helped her out of depression and she accepted the harsh reality. It has been years now, but no one from her family has contacted us. Would you help us?
He was looking at them. Ruchika and Robby nodded in affirmation and asked him for the address. Bob was searching her file for the address when Robby went behind him and read the address saying, Bob, you are old now.

Robby seemed to be more excited about the case. He did not even wait for Bob to finish. He held Ruchika’s arm and they were out of Bob’s office.

 

Ruchika asked him to wait but he told her firmly that he is the boss and Ruchika has to do what he asks her to do. Robby was smiling. He was full of curiosity to explore and had enthusiasm in his tone.

They traveled by bus. Ruchika was admiring the beautiful weather around when Robby asked her to get down.

We have to walk 2 miles extra from here said, Robby.
Ruchika insisted that Robby should ask someone the address since the place looked weird and lonely.

Robby: I know more than you. I have lived my maximum life here. Both of them were very surprised when they landed in a barren house.

It looks like, no one has lived here since ages said Ruchika to Robby.
Robby said: I think you are wrong, I am sure we will meet some ghosts inside.

He glanced at Ruchika’s face, The fear on her face made him laugh insanely.

Robby was a kind of a man who would often search for ways to make people laugh even in crazy situations. Ruchika was scared but walked along with him.

The garden of the house was totally destroyed and the fountain in front of the big gate was in a horrible state.

They walked further and saw that the house property was intact and nobody had tried to steal anything from there. They saw a huge lock on the main door.

Robby tried to clean the window with his hand but ended getting his hands dirty.
Ruchika was looking around when she saw a lady observing them.
She ran towards her but suddenly lost her. Robby came running after Ruchika and asked where was she going.

Ruchika said: I saw a lady here who was looking at us. Robby said: it is your imagination since there is no community around. How can someone be here? This house is almost in the woods, miles away from NewYork.
Ruchika was shocked and she screamed at Robby: What!! we are not in NewYork.
There was bewilderment in her tone. How will we go back, Robby?
Robby started laughing and said: the same way we came here Ruchika. What is the matter calm down!

Robby further said: I suggest for a day or two let us stay somewhere nearby. I think it will help us in getting some information on the family members of this house.
Ruchika said: But Robby I am here only for 15 days out of which 3 days have already gone. I don’t think it is possible to help Nancy in these 12 days. Let’s go back and tell Bob we can’t do this.

Robby turned Ruchika towards him, looked into her eyes and said: Look, we are here for a mission. Let us think positive to help instead of assuming the negative outcome of the situation. Trust me, no problem in this world exists without a solution. You have to keep faith within yourself and in me too.

Ruchika was looking deep into his eyes and some voice again whispered in her head saying: Not every man you meet is same. Sometimes destiny makes you meet people to answer the longing of your heart. Don’t judge him and don’t compare him with others. Just let it be!!
That was when she felt fascinated by his words. She could feel the calling of true love in his eyes. His touch was giving rise to strange sensations in her body and a warm feeling of love was arising in between both of them. They both immediately distanced themselves from each other as if both of them had felt the same spark for each other.

Robby asked her to wait in the barren house till he brought some food to eat.

What here? No way. I will come along: said Ruchika.

But we have no place to stay. We will need to break the lock of this house to enter: said, Robby

Ruchika felt uncomfortable and refused to live in the place where nobody had lived for years.

At last, they both decided to go further and look for a place to stay for a while. They were crossing the lonely lane while walking hand in hand as if they had known each other for years. They squinted at each other but did not say a word. The silence was talking between them. That was when Ruchika saw a tiny hut at the end of the lane. They rushed towards the hut. They looked inside but found no one.

Now there was no option. It was getting dark. Robby decided and told Ruchika that they will spend the night here only. Robby arranged barbeque with the woods around and told Ruchika to wait till he returned with something to eat.

Once alone, Ruchika had an urge to speak to her sister back in India to ask about how life was treating them. She wanted to know how her father was doing in the new place.

She searched for her cell phone but it was not in her bag. She thought to herself she must have dropped it somewhere.
She knew she could get a panic attack so to avoid that she started breathing deeply. She was tired and she actually didn’t realize that while practicing deep breathing she went into deep sleep.

Chapter 15 The Introduction

Embrace your pain The Beginning

Chapter 15 The Introduction

Ruchika slept till late in the afternoon. Isabelle had not bothered to wake her up, probably knowing that Ruchika had a long flight. Meanwhile, Robby reached Bob’s hospital sharp at 9 am. Bob gave him a form asking him to fill that would evaluate his personality type. He had to keep him busy till Ruchika arrived.

Ruchika woke up late. She prepared a cup of coffee for herself and searched fridge to eat something. The fridge had only leftovers of a pizza. The kitchen was very dirty. Ruchika looked around for Isabelle. She was not there. Ruchika thought to herself she must have left for work.
Ruchika called Bob and informed him that she would reach his hospital in another hour.

On her way to the hospital, she bought herself a big sandwich and a coke. On reaching the hospital, she saw a dark lady sitting outside the hospital sobbing. Ruchika went to her and asked her why she was crying and if Ruchika could help her in any way. The lady introduced herself as Varti from Papua Guinea. Varti was black and wearing a big golden and white dress. She was thin and was bald from the front which she carefully had hidden by wearing a black cloth on her head.
She looked in her 50’s.

Ruchika sat along with her there only and politely asked her the reason for her tears.
Varti: I was born and brought up in Papua Guinea, my hometown. I stay in Beverly Hills and was here to meet this doctor named Bob. Someone told me that he is the best doctor who could help me out, but I am scared thinking what would people say if they would know that I was here.
Ruchika held her hand and tried to calm her. She said: If you feel okay, you can share your problem with me. After all, I am a stranger and not from this country. Ruchika assured her that her story would remain secret with her.
Varti thought for a moment and then said: I am full of guilt, anger, and jealousy. I realize that nobody likes me. My husband has a small business. I have two sons. I have never been a good mother to them. I wanted them to be successful in life that was the reason I used to beat them and force them to study every time. One day my elder son left me. My younger one still stays with me but hates me. My husband is also happy when I am not around. I have often caught them partying behind my back. I fell in an extramarital affair. But that man also left me saying, I was too nosy. I used to be a working woman but no one liked me there too.

Ruchika felt sad for her and asked her about her relations with her colleagues.
Varti said: I saw them backbiting against me. I was very jealous of one girl in my office who was appointed as my partner in work. She was not only younger to me but was very beautiful too. I was so jealous of her that I went ahead and played games against her so that she would lose her job and when that didn’t work I used witchcraft to bring her unhappiness. The black magic I used, killed her father.
Oh! I am so bad what have I done, wailed Varti
She was crying uncontrollably and Ruchika sat by her side letting her emotions out.

After a while, Ruchika said: Since you have realized all your mistakes, I don’t think you are a bad person at all. You know jealousy and anger enter your life when you start comparing yourself to others. The day you will see the beauty in yourself there would be no looking back.
Am I beautiful, asked a surprised Vrati?
Ruchika: Indeed you are. It is for you to recognize yourself.
Vrati wiped her tears and said: I am so thankful to you for hearing me out. I am feeling so light. Thank you and yes, I promise that I will practice loving self and would also stop comparing myself to others.

Vrati got up to leave. Ruchika reminded her that she was here to see Bob. Vrati looked back and said smilingly: I don’t need the doctor now. I will practice what you asked and if that doesn’t work then I will come back to the doctor.

Ruchika smiled and went into the hospital. She reached Bob’s cabin in no time. Bob welcomed her with a hug. Ruchika saw Robby sitting in a corner with a paper and a pen. Robby saw Ruchika looking at him. He smiled back at her.

Bob gave the same personality evaluation test to Ruchika. She completed the test in minutes while Robby was still thinking what to write.

That was quick Ruchika, said Bob. He looked at Robby. Robby gave back the paper to Bob saying I could only fill few things.

Bob did not need any personality evaluation test for Robby since he had known Robby for long now.
But he was much interested in Ruchika’s test. He asked both of them to wait outside in the lobby while he evaluated their test.

Ruchika and Robby got talking while sitting in the lobby. Ruchika felt that Robby was a clean hearted person since he was quite vocal about his emotions. She somewhat liked him but his continues chatter and the ability of not listening irritated her.

Bob was observing both of them through his CCTV camera. He also evaluated Ruchika’s personality as a rescuer.
He decided it was time to make two minds meet. The business mind of Ruchika had to meet the innocent and careless mind of Robby.

He called both of them inside and told them that he is giving both of them a task as a team. He told his secretary Juno to look for the case files of his patients who have been living in his hospital for more than 3 years. Robby went into the record room along with Juno and came back with one file only whose name was Nancy. She was the oldest patient staying in his hospital. Her family had refused to take her back.
Bob thought for a while, then told both of them to work as a team and create such a strategy that the family would get convinced and take Nancy back to her home.

They both happily agreed. Suddenly Robby said: Who would lead who?
Ruchika had a history of being a manager so she assumed automatically that she would lead and Robby would follow, but Bob gave her a shock of her life when he said: of course you will lead and Ruchika would assist.

What? What are you saying Bob. I spoke to him while we were out waiting in the corridor and he seems to have no mind at all: said Ruchika.

Robby felt offended and said: how dare you say that. You still don’t know me. Who are you to judge me in minutes?

Ruchika realized that she was harsh and should have used her words carefully. She apologized immediately
Bob intervened saying: I will give Nancy’s case to both of you tomorrow to study. He turned towards Robby and said: Robby meanwhile, why don’t you take Ruchika out and help her in exploring New York.

By now Robby was irritated with Ruchika. He did not even want to look at her that time. Still, he gave her his dimpled smile and told Ruchika to follow him.

Ruchika rolled her eyes and followed him wondering where she has got herself stuck.

The day went by peacefully. Robby took Ruchika around and showed her some good places. Both of them had good food at an Indian Resturant, which was of course with Ruchika’s expenses. They both discussed their families and Robby told her that he was all alone in this world and was still struggling in his career.

Ruchika told him about her younger sister being settled in America itself. She told Robby how she was taking care of her father after her mother passed away. She also told him that she was here at Bob’s request for a change. She was here for 15days only.

Within some time, she realized that Robby is also a good listener too. He did not interrupt her even for a minute. But when Ruchika asked Robby about his life and family he kept on saying that he was all alone in this world. She realized that he was not comfortable talking about his personal life. After that, she did not bother him much.

She heard a voice in her mind: Sometimes people have a darker corner which they refuse to visit. They refuse to let light come enter in that corner because they let their fear, guilt, unwanted memories stay there. Do not force them. Let it be. In time, they would let you shine your light on that corner.

For split second she was puzzled wondering why she was hearing voices in her mind. She brushed away the idea as her silly imagination.

It was late at night when they reached Ruchika’s residence. They were friends now. Their perspective about each other had changed. Robby tried to hug her wishing her goodnight but she immediately distanced herself from him. She shook hands with him and wished him goodnight.

Robby smiled and nodded his head.
She closed the door smilingly. Robby turned to go home and chuckled: Wierd girl!!

When she entered her apartment, she saw Isabelle and all she could say was Oh my God!!

 

Chapter 14 The new Journey

Embrace your pain The beginning

Chapter 14 The new Journey

It was the end of one life and a beginning of the other. Ruchika wasn’t aware what waited for her. She decided to go with the flow this time. She was a kind of a person who would talk to people only if they spoke to her. The only difference that could be noted on her was her smile that was more welcoming.
Once on the flight, she was full of the thoughts of many ongoing things, about her past that she had. She kept thinking about her meeting with her mother and her message that she had to complete her mission on earth.
She wondered if her mission was to take care of her father or settle Twinkle in her marriage. What else could be her mission? Ruchika was baffled and in this turmoil, she slept and by the time she woke up she was already in New York!!
On reaching New York Ruchika’s phone buzzed with a message from Bob informing her that his secretary Juno was already at the airport to assist her. After a few minutes of walk, Ruchika saw Juno. She was holding a placard of her name Ruchika Khanduja.

Ruchika was much relieved on seeing Juno. They both greeted each other. Juno informed Ruchika that she would take her to meet Bob first and then she would drop Ruchika at the apartment that Bob had chosen for her.
Ruchika nodded and Juno hired a taxi to Bob’s office.
Once in the taxi, Ruchika got settled and sent a message to her sister informing her that she had reached New York safely.

Ruchika was busy checking her what’s app messages when she heard Juno sobbing. She was amazed. She asked her the reason for the tears in her eyes but Juno said it was nothing. Juno told Ruchika that because off Influenza her eyes were red. Ruchika asked the driver to pull over and forced Juno to walk a bit away from the cab. She then hugged Juno and said: Please I know we don’t even know each other but I request you to please tell me what is bothering you, Please.
At first, Juno disagreed. But after much persuasion by Ruchika, she broke up and told her that this morning she had lost the custody of her kids.

Ruchika let Juno speak her heart out. After she had heard her story she asked Juno about her work timings. Juno said it was 9 to 5, but to give lavish life to her kids she was doing two more jobs after 5 pm.

Ruchika was thinking. She then asked about Juno’s husband. What does he do? Juno said at present he is doing jobs only during the weekends and stays with the kids in the week.

Ruchika smiled and hugged Juno. Oh, Juno then where is the problem. As it is you are so busy during weekdays. Let your husband be with the kids . During weekends, when he is busy working you take care of them, take them out, be totally devoted to their needs.

See Juno, I have learned, life is not complicated but we humans make it complicated.

Juno understood and agreed with what Ruchika was trying to tell her. She smiled and said: Thank you so much. I understand what you say and shall do the same now. with this, they moved towards the cab and started their journey to Bob’s office.

Once in the cab, Ruchika felt that her heart is happy without any reason. She felt peaceful deep inside her heart.

They reached Bob’s office in some time. Juno hugged her for helping her with a solution and told her that she would be there for her if she needs anything during her 15 days stay here.

Ruchika smiled and walked towards Bob’s office.

She knocked the door of his office.
Bob asked her to come in and got up to hug her.
He observed that Ruchika was more confident and happy this time.
They both spoke about many things and Ruchika also shared with him about her Near Death Experience.

Bob asked Ruchika to take some rest for today and tomorrow morning he would give her round of his hospital and she can see how people get healed.

That was when Juno interrupted their conversation and said it is an emergency case Sir, Robby is back and he is having a panic attack.

Bob excused himself and asked Juno to drop Ruchika to her apartment.

Ruchika and Juno left Bob’s office. On her way, Ruchika asked Juno what is a panic attack. Juno told her that it is a sudden overwhelming feeling of acute and disabling anxiety like she had in the morning and Ruchika had helped her with. Ruchika said nothing and just smiled. Juno dropped Ruchika in some time and bid her Goodnight.

Meanwhile, Bob was handling Robby. Robby again had a panic attack and was crying because he again had lost his job. Bob was all ears to him, He held his hand and asked him to relax. Then Bob asked Robby: Okay Rob, tell me why did you lose this job. Robby answered: The job was not at all interesting. It was a monotonous thing and in all honesty, I wanted them to kick me out.

Bob asked him about the kind of job Robby had gone for.Robby replied: it was again of selling clothes in the shop. I love interacting with people so I thought this will be a good opportunity. But one of the staff people told me that I was being paid much less in comparison to other staff. I lost my cool and left that place. He burst into tears saying but now I don’t have that amount either because I messed it all.

Bob asked him to calm down and told him that he should take a break for the next 15 days. He said: You would be working for me, so you must not worry about the money.
Robby felt lighter and hugged Dr. Bob. Thank you so much for listening and also to your offer. When do I have to come to work? Bob was laughing inside and asked him to come tomorrow sharp at 9 am.

Robby happily went. He messaged Julie that he will make them meet tomorrow.

Ruchika reached her new apartment and realized that she would be sharing her apartment with a 19-year-old girl who had left her parents back in France and was here to make her career. Her father was a good friend of Bob, so Bob had given her this place to stay. She introduced herself as Isabelle to Ruchika.
Ruchika and Isabella instantly hit a friendly note. They started Chit-chatting as if they had been friends for long. Ruchika asked Isabella what line she wanted to make a career in and she realized that Isabelle had no clue, she was doing every job that was coming her way.

Isabelle asked Ruchika about her family and she told her about her father staying in India and sister staying in Beverly Hills but she chose to explore New York this time and is here to stay for 15 days.

Isabelle made a cup of coffee and welcomed her. Ruchika was very tired and said that she would go to her room and rest for a while.

Chapter 13 Let go!!

Embrace your pain The beginning

 

 

 

 

Chapter 13 Let go!!

At last, our mind is clear and the heart has bid goodbye to the clutter of pain we held inside for so long: said a much relieved Ruchika. Now shall we get rid of the clutter of home she asked? We need to do this now so that we can shift in two days and bid goodbye to this home.

Everyone wiped up their tears and asked Ruchika: what do you want us to do.

Ruchika said to her father: Why not begin with your room first?
The old man protested for a second saying I have all the necessary things, I don’t have any clutter in my room.
He saw both of his daughter’s face and then thought for a minute. He stood up in enthusiasm and said okay let’s do as you say.

Ruchika took out the big suitcase lying above his almirah and started packing his clothes. She only packed his clothes that she had seen him wearing daily and were actually of his size now. Other clothes which were old fashioned and not of his now size were thrown in a big bed sheet. This included his wedding suit too!

Ruchika’s father saw his wedding suit being thrown in the bedsheet.
He rushed in and asked Ruchika in a harsh tone: Why are you throwing my suit. Don’t you know it is special to me.

Ruchika said: I am only packing your clothes that you wear daily. What would you do with these old-fashioned suits now and these track suits of your younger years? They have been lying in your almirah for so long. These can be used by those people who do not have clothes to wear.

That was when Ruchika’s father face turned red and he shouted: Are you nuts? And by the way what will someone do with my wedding suit.

Ruchika and Twinkle burst out laughing together. Ruchika smiled and said: Dad! Its time to create new memories, please let it go!
The old man shook his head in desperation and went away furiously. Ruchika took out a box from his almirah which was full of the ancient currency of all the countries including Indian coins of yesteryears. She immediately asked her sister to take it to her room without letting their father know.
Twinkle’s eyes widened and she said: But sister, he saved it to show it to our kids.
Ruchika looked at her sister and said: Twinkle, stop behaving like Dad! The kids of this generation are least interested in History. Still, if you want to show them these ancient coins and notes take some pictures. I know a place where I can sell them and get a good amount.

Twinkle nodded her head and did as her sister asked her to do.

Here, father, your room is cleaned, announced Ruchika.
Cleaned! He screamed. You have thrown away almost everything. I am also from ancient time throw me too in some old age home.

Ruchika hugged her father saying how can I? You are my darling father. Please don’t get attached to things that you don’t use.
Donate them. Do you know, when it would be given to someone who does not have or has seen such clothes they would give you thousands of blessings?
The old man was burning with anger but kept quiet.
Soon the doorbell rang, there was a man who was there to take away their car.
Now, why are you giving this car away: asked her father Ruchika said: Do you drive now? Did this machine help you in taking me to the hospital on time to save my life?
But you are fine now, and for God sake, you can drive it, yelled Ruchika’s father.
He kept on giving her lectures but Ruchika was not listening at all. She gave the car keys and papers to the man and took the cheque from him.

She turned towards Twinkle and said it’s your turn now my dear sister. Let’s go to your room. Their father shook his head and went away.
My clutter? I have only a few things here sister.
Let’s see, said Ruchika.
Once in Twinkle’s room, she opened her almirah. She took out many things including a big box that has greeting cards of school friends and family that were given to her when she was a kid.
Ruchika threw that box in the dustbin.
What? What are you doing sister, these are my memories.
Ruchika said: when did you see them last?
Twinkle said: No, I mean sometimes. Okay, but once in a blue moon, I look at these cards and recall those moments.

Ruchika nodded and sarcastically asked her sister to let go!
Look at the future now. Create new beautiful memories with your present family. You are not even aware where all these people are. No one has bothered to keep in touch with you.

Twinkle with tears in her eyes threw all into the dustbin. She understood Ruchika was saying the truth. In so many years she had no time to look at these letters or cards.

Ruchika moved towards her almirah. She threw away many of her dresses. Several clothes that she never wore, many which were old fashioned and held some memories for her.
Twinkle asked her: but why are you throwing your dresses.
She saw her father standing behind Twinkle. Both had questions in their mind running them wild.
She smilingly said I too need to let go of past!
When I was dead, I was not even bothered about my material possessions. With these words, she quickly moved towards the kitchen.
With the help of her sister, she threw crockery that they had not used in years but had kept thinking that one day they will use it.
She packed more bundles of useless things with the help of her sister.
This included their sofa’s in the living room which they had been seeing since her childhood.

Two big trucks came by afternoon. They took away all that was asked by Ruchika to take away. Things that were useless and lying in their home since ages.
Her home now was left with only beds, almirah, and her study table. Rest all the things has been donated to NGO’s.

Ruchika’s father was very annoyed. He screamed why are you leaving the remaining furniture, donate that too.

No father, we need this if we give our house for rent replied Ruchika very politely.

He stood up and went to his room. Ruchika felt calmer.
Next day, in the morning, another truck came and took all the things that the family purchased at the time of Twinkle’s marriage for her but she never took them.

Ruchika decided to use them in her new home. The family along with the things jumped into the lorry bidding goodbye to the house where they had spent their maximum years, recalling births and deaths of loved ones.

Everyone’s heart was heavy but they had to Let go!

They entered the new home with happiness and prayers in their hearts. Ruchika and Twinkle started organizing their home immediately. First, they went in to organize their father’s room so that he could rest. After that, Both the girls went to set the kitchen. By night the house was in perfect shape.

They all were very tired. Ruchika ordered some dinner from outside and after dinner.

Next morning Ruchika’s phone kept buzzing throughout the day. The calls were from different NGO’s calling to thank her for her help in donating them the goods.

Ruchika knew her father was still angry. She made her father hear every call she received.
At last, he smiled.

The family felt greeted by the new place and new neighbors. It was difficult for them to adjust but they had to. Twinkle gave the new address to her husband so that he may not end up at the old address.

Change is inevitable, even if you do not want, it comes on its own time and pushes you to move from your comfort zone to experience something new said Ruchika to herself while watching out from the window of her bedroom.

It was time for her to pack her bags and bid goodbye to the lonely life she was leading.
She said to her sister its time for me to take a break now. I want to start afresh. Twinkle hugged her sister. Her father hugged her and ask her to take care of herself and come back soon.

Ruchika left the home while leaving a surprise for her father.
Next day, his younger sister visited him. She told him that Ruchika had called her and requested her to spend some time with them at their new residence.

Her father knew that she did that so that he could have company while her sister too could enjoy some change and a good time with them.
Ruchika had become very thoughtful now. She was a changed woman.

Chapter 12 Confession

Embrace your pain The begining

Chapter 12 Confession

Ruchika texted me her flight details, she also said in her message that before leaving for New York she needs to clear clutter not only from her house but from her heart and mind too. She on purpose chose the date three days after our meeting.

I forwarded that same message to Bob so that he can make arrangements for her.
My heart was so happy that it seemed to me that my hometown Bangalore was welcoming me back. The weather was awesome. The cool breeze kissed my cheeks. The best part being in Bangalore was that I could breathe.
It was my time with my family. The two days of my life that I snatched from them now I had to return them by pampering them. So here I was, at my house, giving rest to the counselor and tarot reader in me. It was time to awaken a kitchen fairy in me for my family, preparing their most favorite dishes. It was time to listen to their stories and tell mine.

Ruchika’s house was silent after the guests were gone. It was just Ruchika, her sister Twinkle and her father sitting in the living room.

It was time for her father and sister to let her know how much agony they felt once they saw her dead.
Ruchika was smiling and hearing their grief, they cried and let their stress out. All three of them had food together like a happy family. After the meal, when everyone was preparing to bid good night to each other, Ruchika broke her silence, she said it’s my turn now I want to talk to both of you.

Twinkle and her father looked at each other and sat there at the dining table itself.
Ruchika said: Twinkle, I am sorry.
For what, sister?
For all the unhappiness and heartaches I have given to you.
To you too dad for misbehaving when I was depressed.
They both were smiling. Her sister held her hand and said it’s okay. We are glad that you are back.
She looked at her sister Twinkle and continued saying I know that you often blamed me for the problems you faced in your marriage.
You always thought that you could have found a better husband if I had not pushed you to marry him but my dear sister, I only supported your decision. It was you who wanted to stay with him without marriage and to be truthful if not Satya, than someone else would have made your life miserable, so stop blaming me or your husband for your problems. Try to find out where the barrier lies. I do understand that you were far away from us and yearned for our emotional support but that happens with every girl my dear.
You did not take the responsibilities of your action that gave birth to depression first and then to your daughter but trust me, I wasn’t aware of your inner turmoil. I thought you were happy.

That is why it is said that in marriages, depression comes easy because it was you who have to take responsibility for your action. You have to give without expecting back my dear.

Twinkle intervened and said angrily, but I never said anything to you over the phone or otherwise.
But in your heart, you did curse me, whereas, I was only trying to make your life happy said Ruchika.
I was upset with you when you came to India last time to meet mom. Remember, you told me how much you had to spend in coming here. The money that I gifted to your daughter was more than enough to cover your expenses. Isn’t it?

Twinkle lowered her eyes in shame.

I also know that you and your husband thought that I am not getting married because I wanted this whole property and you called dad to ask him to transfer your share. I heard him assuring you that you will get your share.

Twinkle’s mouth was wide open this time and Ruchika’s father too was taken aback. They both asked her together how do you know about our conversation.

Ruchika smiled and said I know plenty of things now.
This conversation, I overheard, since I had sleepless nights when mom was unwell.

Papa, I know that the theft that happened in our house was planned. I also know that even after your promised my mother that you will not gamble, you did and lost a huge amount and my maximum hard earned money was gone in covering your loss. I know that the burglars were none other than the workers who were making the next building and that is the reason you allow these nasty loafer women with the foul smell to enter our house.
By this time, Ruchika’s father was boiling in anger. He was about to open his mouth to say something.
Ruchika noticed that and asked him to wait. She continued saying that she is not finished yet. She said: She too has been selfish.

She said: I learned that it was money that could control anything in this world and I threw an enormous amount of money in front of both of you to let you know that I don’t need your property i.e this house of yours, father! She stood up opened the cabinet near the dining table and gave the papers of property she had purchased in Gurgaon and one in America for her sister to both of them. She had given them copies since the original was in her bank locker. She gave them the papers saying this is the reason I did not marry! I was holding a strong grudge against both of you in my heart. I am sorry.

And another reason for staying single is that I have worked hard and have earned so much money that I felt secure somewhere and I did not want anyone to barge in. My mind would let me think that every guy I met was interested in my money and not in me and often guys have played with my emotions to get my money. I was devastated. I realized that even relationships are on sale. There is no value for emotions and love left in this world.

Ruchika stood up and left both of them to ponder on what she said. They both got up and went to their respective rooms without even saying any word to each other. It was difficult for them to digest what Ruchika had said.

Next morning, Twinkle and her father knocked the door of her room. She let them in. Twinkle kneeled on her knees and apologized.
She said: Whatever you said last night was difficult for us to digest sister. I agree, my head was full of negative thoughts when I got married to Satya, my husband.
I did curse you in my heart because when he wanted to leave me after we stayed together without marriage for a year, you forced me to hold him by carrying his baby. I did what you asked, assuming things will be easy but it turned out to be atrocious in return. I tried searching job after our daughter was born but I was bounded by my duties of taking care of my baby. Satya did not support me the way I thought he would. I had to take care of our baby on my own. I was fed up with his tantrums. He was not ready to share the responsibility. Yes, that was the time I cursed you in my heart.
Later, I became more selfish and often prayed that you should not get married so that money keeps flowing into my account and I can live my life peacefully. I am sorry!

That was when the father, who was standing behind Twinkle, sat down on the sofa and said I am old now I cannot kneel down like your sister but yes, I too was not in favor of your marriage, I wanted your money. Also, I did not want to lead a lonely life. I was scared to live alone after your mother’s death. Yes, I sent the burglars. I had seen the way you were spending money on your mother. I became greedy and could not hold myself. They both started crying.
Ruchika smiled and said, Its okay. It had to happen. That is why I have decided to leave this house and would stay in our house in Gurgaon.

Father, We will give this house for rent so that you can get your monthly income even if I am dead again and Twinkle the house that I bought in America is for you.
It is up to you what you want to do with it. I hope the money won’t stop flowing if you too give it on rent. Rest is your choice.
I have tried making arrangements that money would not be a problem for both of you even if I leave this world again.
All of them hugged and started their day as if there had been no such discussion in the family.
The day began only to strike anger one more time on Ruchika’s father and her sister’s face. Ruchika had still lots going on in her mind.

Chapter 11 Persuasion or Influence

Embrace your pain The Begining

Chapter 11 Persuasion or Influence

While I was bidding goodbye to Ruchika, I could hear my phone buzzing. It was Bob trying to speak to me through skype. He had heard from Richard how miraculously Ruchika had come back from the other world.

Bob was very happy and excited about the news. It seemed he was all charged up. He told me to immediately speak to Ruchika about her plans to visit New York. I assured him that I had tried doing that already, but Ruchika insisted that she wanted some time. Bob kept quiet and it seemed that he was seriously thinking about something.

I intervened between his thoughts and asked him what was bothering him. Bob said, Julie, I think we should not give her so much space and time to think since its seen in such cases people fall back with their old habits pretty soon.

Ah!! how much I wanted to tell Bob about Ruchika’s Near Death Experience but couldn’t because I was already bound by a promise of not sharing her secret.

He said Jules, you have time until tomorrow morning. I want you to persuade her since she is already influenced by your personality.
I: What are you trying to say, Bob? I don’t understand.
Bob: Look, Julie, Ruchika can easily fall back into her older pattern. At present, she is enjoying everyone’s attention but this drama would end soon. That is the time when she would start getting panic attacks.
I: No Bob, I don’t think it would happen. It seems the other world has sent her back calm and composed. She is a changed girl.
Bob was not ready to listen to me at all. He started telling me what I should be doing next. He even asked me to sit with pen and paper so that I could make notes. We discussed at length about Ruchika. In my hearts of hearts, I also wanted to help Ruchika live happily. We spoke till one a.m. in the morning. I chose to use my spiritual psychology and disconnected Ruchika’s etheric chords with things that she was clinging on to even after her return from the dead. After praying for her and sending her distant healing I went to sleep by 2:30 a.m.

I was really exhausted and had no energy. I immediately dozed off to my dream world.

It was 9 a.m when I woke up the next morning. I immediately called Meera, but she too was sleeping. It seemed that we both had a peaceful sleep after a long time.

We got ready and reached Ruchika’s residence. To our surprise, people were still visiting and talking to her father. I saw him busy telling them stories about how Ruchika had come back to life.

Ruchika and her sister were still dressed up in tracksuits. Both the sister looked like twins. They were having some serious discussion with a man who seemed to be inspecting their house.

I was happy to see both the sisters laughing together. Soon that man left saying that he would send the quotation by evening. Ruchika told us that she along with her sister had decided to get the house redesign. They will go and stay in Gurgaon for that time period.
Meera asked how much time does the contractor need?
Twinkle said it could take a month or two. She further added that shifting to Gurgaon for some time is a safe bet because Julie has told Ruchika to get rid of the antique items in the home and that would not at all be possible with their father being around.

I: That’s great news. By the way Twinkle, how long are you going to stay back, I inquired.
Twinkle: I had thought of leaving this week, but my husband is anxious to come and meet Ruchika. He is coming along with my daughter. Maybe we would stay for 15 or 20 days more, she said it with a smile just like her sister.
Ruchika and Meera went inside to prepare tea for everyone. I recalled Bob’s words and continued my chat with Twinkle.
Twinkle, I am sure Ruchika must have told you how she got in touch with me.
Twinkle: Yeah, she told me that you are a Tarot Card Reader.
I nodded and said my husband is a psychologist. We are trying to help Ruchika come out of her depression so that she can lead a healthy life.
Twinkle considered me someone who was there to make money said no, no she is fine now. We don’t need any consultation. She said this in a rude tone.
I: I am not talking about consultation here, I am talking about helping her to start a new life and getting married.
I was firm and to the point, making it clear to her that it was not about making money but was about genuinely helping Ruchika.
Twinkle was quietly staring at me I think my tone had conveyed my intentions to her. She then said how do you want me to help with this.
I asked her to persuade Ruchika to visit New York for two weeks until the time Twinkle was in India. Twinkle could take care of their father and also look into the renovation work. She kept quiet and it seemed she was thinking hard. She suddenly asked, why New York?
I told her that I have a friend who is also a psychologist and has a psychiatry hospital running there. He has already invited Ruchi. Sometimes small changes and visiting a place that you have never seen can create the best memories.
My fingers were crossed and I was praying for her to agree with me.
She kept on staring outside for a while and then said: I assure you didi will travel to New York by tomorrow’s flight. You can ask your friend to make arrangements. With this, she looked at me and smiled.
I was very happy. She stood up and so did I but I was not aware of her next action.
She hugged me tightly and said thank you for all that you did and all that you are doing.
Meera and Ruchika came out with the tea. We all sat and chit-chatted about how life was in America. That was the time when I asked Ruchika if she had made any decision for traveling to New York yet.

Meera too said, yes take a break Ruchika then come back and search for a job.
Twinkle too persuaded her saying I am here in India right now and would take care of papa and that way you won’t be worried about him too.

Ruchika looked at me and understood that Twinkle and I were together in this and we both were pushing her on purpose. She said if you all want this then be it. She went into her room and came back with her passport. She smilingly said my US visa is still valid hence I don’t need to visit the Embassy.
We all were smiling and so was the old man who was sitting outside listening to our conversation.
It looked like everyone wanted her to live.
I glanced at my watch. It was almost 3 pm. Meera understood and before I could say anything she said, it’s time for us to leave since we also need to catch our flight. I looked at her and we both smiled in agreement. That was when I was dying to be with my family and I wanted to rush back to my universe.

 

Chapter 10 The Awakening

Embrace your pain The begining

Chapter 10 The Awakening

It was Ruchika. My expressions told her that I was not expecting her at this hour.
I recalled Meera had called Ruchika in the afternoon, informing her that we were sightseeing and would reach our hotel late night. She had also told her that we would visit her the next morning before we left Delhi. I wondered how did she knew that we have reached the hotel. Lots of questions were swirling in my mind when Ruchika broke the stillness and said: I told you, I will meet you before you leave Delhi.
I: Indeed, and that is the reason Meera and I planned to visit you tomorrow morning.
Ruchika stood at the door with a smile on her face. I realized I had not invited her in.

Oh! I am sorry, please come in. She entered the room.
I noticed Ruchika was wearing a pink tee with white trousers. She had chosen bright colors instead of darker shades. She wore light pink make up. Her hair was tied high in a ponytail. She was wearing white sandals. I saw her cuticles were shining, though there was no nail polish on them and her skin was glowing.
I said: Ruchika you look different. Your skin is glowing and I really like your attire.
Ruchika smiled and sat comfortably on the sofa.
I was about to call Meera when Ruchika stopped me asking me to sit with her.
She said: I am here to meet you. Let her take rest. I will meet her tomorrow morning.
She continued, I wanted to offer my gratitude for the support you gave me when I was deaf to your healing words. The negativity in me had given birth to a false ego making me think that I knew everything and the way this world works.
Remember, the day before Diwali. I had left your place promising you that I will do as you had asked me to.

I: Yes, I remember that night vividly. Recalling how our pandora’s box was opened. I continued saying but recently when we made a visit to your house upon receiving the news of your death. I noticed that the sewage was cleaned but when I entered your house, I couldn’t spot anything which could tell me that you have actually worked on my advice.

Ruchika laughed and said: I didn’t. I overlooked all your suggestions. Even the sewage that you saw, It was the Municipal Corporation Department people who came on their own to clean it.

Oh! I had no words.

She observed my embarrassed expressions. She held my hand feeling sorry and said: it was not my fault, it was my inflated ego that was guiding me.
I said: It’s okay Ruchika, I very well understand.
She continued saying, Julie, when I left my body something unusual happened. I met my mother!
I looked at her and recalled my cards, the queen of cups and the Empress as an additional message. My cards guided me right I said to myself, but what happened next was my curiosity now.
I kept smiling.
She continued speaking.
She said: I was shocked to see my body in front of my eyes. I saw my father crying and I tried hard to get into my body, but I couldn’t. Later, I thought it was okay to leave this body as it is it was giving me suffering and aches unnecessarily. It was then I started searching white light because that is all we have seen in movies and also heard from elders that some white light comes to take your soul to God.

I least realized that my case was different. When I looked around searching the white light, I saw a beautiful young lady. The moment our eyes met she smiled and opened her arms to embrace me. At first, I hesitated a bit, but my soul recognized her. She was my mother. I ran towards her. She hugged me and at that moment I was just thanking God for making me meet her.
I asked my mother how come she looked so young? She smiled and asked me to close my eyes. In split seconds we were in some other world where I saw night and day playing hide and seek. The night would turn into a day if you moved a step further and the moment you took your step back you entered into the night again.I started playing but my mother held my hand and we moved ahead. Here, I saw blooming of the most beautiful flowers. I have never seen such beautiful colors on earth. Such brightness, happiness, and peace.

Ruchika was telling me everything with her eye closed as if she was witnessing it. I did not stop her and let her speak. She continued saying:
I wanted to capture every bit of it. I saw beautiful big parks that had talking trees and there were some Angels, actual Angels who were teaching something to numerous groups of souls. I remember until the time I was there I was only smiling. There was nothing else on my mind. I had no emotions. I wasn’t thinking about my earthly life or of the pain I had left my loved ones in. I did not even bother to get back into my body.

My mother then took me to a place where she said we could review our lives on earth. It was a huge room with lots and lots of big books. The room had no lights but it had so much of brightness that for a minute I could not open my eyes. My mom made me sit on a big royal chair and said: Ruchi, now it’s time to check whether you completed your mission on earth. The real reason for which you were sent to earth.

I was confused and asked her what she was talking about. She told me then, that we all are souls and we keep taking births in various forms to complete our journey to become better and peaceful souls. We as humans need to progress on daily basis on earth to finish the circle of life and death and to reach Salvation!

Progress on earth, I questioned my mother
Yes, said she. She asked me if I had seen the groups in the park when we were coming to this room. She told me that
they were getting ready to go to earth. Some of them will take birth as humans and some of them will act as their guiding forces, which are casually known as a subconscious voice. The subconscious voice will keep guiding them to make earth a better place to live for.

My mother asked me if I remembered that in her last days on earth she used to cry a lot.
Yes, I remembered I told her. I often used to recall those days while on earth.
My mother continued saying, I was crying because I was told that my end was near and I was worried what will happen to you if I would die.
But my soul family assured me that you will be in good hands.
Upon reaching here, we conspired that you meet Julie again. She is the one who had guided you right and also would be your friend in long run without any selfish motives. But you did not heed our advice and kept on praying for death to come.
Now, as you are here you will have to first pass the test of life! She smiled and said: You will only be allowed to enter the Golden Gate when it is clear that you have accomplished your mission on earth for which you were sent for.

I asked her what mission was she talking about.

She smiled and said you will know. I have become your soul family and I will guide you now. Listen to your heart.

Tears started rolling from Ruchika’s eyes but she continued her story.
She said: I told my mother that I didn’t want to go back. I was happy there with her.

That was when a huge man smilingly interrupted our conversation and said let me show you how your life would have been if we would let her live disease free.
Suddenly the sky became the t.v screen and I saw my mother getting free of her disease. We were a happy family for a while and then a negative force took over her and she started using me to get more money. I saw myself getting drained and one day I saw myself dying cursing her. He paused the film and said would you have liked this?
This way you would make her karma go negative and she would have to work even harder to get back to this level where she is at present.
What do you mean by this level, I asked that huge man who was wearing a golden robe with white bands.
He smiled, and in seconds he made me visit hell. It was a dark cold place.I could only hear people screaming and crying for forgiveness. It felt little insects were crawling on every part of my body. I screamed for help. That was when an angel held my hand and then took me to a place which looked like more of the earth with negative and positive people roaming around. He then pulled me back to where we were. This is the level nearer to the God he said and very few souls reach here. Do you want her to go down from here?
I said no, not at all.

That was when he said, now let’s see if you do not get back into your body what happens?
I saw that because of my stubbornness, I was punished to stay at a lower level that was more like earth. I saw tears in my eyes.Also, I was not allowed to meet my mother since she was on the higher level.
He said you are progressing right now, but if you want to stay here, you have to go back to accomplish your mission.

I asked him how can I stay on earth without my mother
That was when I saw both of them laughing together. He smiled from cheek to ear and said: you have such emotions only on earth my dear. Once you leave the body there are no emotions left for the family and friends that you left behind.
He continued saying that your mother is here only for some moments. She is here only to introduce you to this new world. She will not stay here with you if you think so! My mother added that she was about to embark on her new journey soon and she could not progress until I help her out.

I asked her, how could I help her.
That was when she said I need to take a new birth in order to progress further.
For her, the emotions with our family had dissolved the day she reached heaven but she said that she will be with me till I settle down to my life on earth. She took me back to earth telling me that in her next birth she would be a boy and would look exactly like her mother that was when suddenly I opened my eyes. I realized I am back to my earthly life.
We both discussed a lot of things. Some I don’t remember and certain things I can’t share with you she said smilingly.

I was listening to her without interrupting her and realized that this was the first time in my life I was hearing a first-hand account of NDE. I also understood that I had come into her life for some reason. I asked her about her plans and she smiled saying that she has lost her job since the post she was on could not remain empty for a longer period.

I instantly said now this is what I called God’s forced vacation for a workaholics like you.

We both laughed.

I asked her if she is interested in exploring America since Bob has already invited her to New York. She said she would think about it.

By now it was already 10 pm. Her cell phone was ringing. She spoke to her sister and got up to leave. She promised that she will meet me tomorrow morning with Meera at her place. Also asking me to keep this meeting as our little secret.

I nodded my head and she left my hotel room leaving me with thousands of things to ponder on…

Chapter 9 Return from the Dead

Embrace your pain the begining

Chapter 9 Return from the Dead

It was 4 am in the morning and I was in the dream world when my phone seemed to be ringing continuously. Somehow, I forced my self to return from my astral journey. It was Meera, trying to wake me. I picked up the phone while still at the alpha level and said Hello.
Meera’s voice was shaking with fear. It jolted me to reality instantly.
What happened Meera, are you okay?
There was pin drop silence on the other end.
I: Hello, hello Meera are you listening. By now I was wide awake with fear dancing all around me. I had weird thoughts striking me. What if Meera could not take Ruchika’s death in her stride and had done something silly to herself. I wondered what will I do if anything happened to this lady here in an unknown city.

That was when I heard Meera’s meek voice saying Ruchika is alive Julie!
I breathed easy when I heard her voice.
Listen Meera, Ruchika is gone. Accept it and if you are scared or depressed you are most welcome to come into my room and sleep.

I am not scared. I received a call from Ruchika’s father at 3 am saying that Ruchika is back to life!
I screeched. What? What are you talking about Meera?
I think we need to visit the hospital right away Julie.
I couldn’t understand what was going on. I asked her to give me a minute or two to come back to my senses and with those words, I kept the phone down.

I wondered what was going on. Was I dreaming or I actually heard those words. Ruchika is back to life!

I washed my face, had a glass of water and sat there thinking of the conversation I just had with Meera. Was it true? How could it be?

I went in Meera’s room. We discussed if it was safe to go out this early. Also, I was sure the hospital people will not allow visitors that early. I told Meera to discuss this with Ruchika’s father and then we will decide what to do. I told her till then I would go back to my room and freshen up.

Back in my room, I was surrounded by thousands of questions with impossible explanations. How was it possible? I decided to take guidance from my tarot cards. They were indicating that she is with her mother but on earth. I said to myself, my cards were so damn accurate. I was eagerly waiting for Meera’s call. I picked up my cell phone to message this shocking news to Richi when I realized that Ruchika’s father had also sent me a message saying: My daughter Ruchika is back to life. Happy to share this news.

While reading this message I was smiling and thanked God for not letting me fail. I instantly asked myself what was I saying: Thank you God for not letting “ME” fail. How did I fail? I tapped my head smiling foolishly. Meera called up saying that Ruchika’s father had said that we could come by 7 am. She added so let’s catch up on our sleep and meet by 7. I told her I would meet her at the reception by 7.
But could we sleep was the question?
I was curious even though I tried sleeping, I twisted and turned from one side to another in bed. I could not sleep. I wanted to call Richard but it was way too early. The time refused to pass. I chose to have a cup of tea. I was sitting on the sofa by the window side.It was so beautiful outside. The darkness was slowly being taken over by light. Just like the tears turn into a smile. Something inside me felt peaceful as if I had won over a tornado within. I ordered breakfast in my room only and was ready by 6: 30 am to leave.

Meera came into my room at 6 am itself. I saw her smiling from cheek to ear. She was not only excited but happy. It seemed the guilt on her heart had also gone. We both had breakfast together. Meera called up her home and spoke to her kids in the video chat. Suddenly her focus had also changed. The unhappiness which had engulfed us had left thankfully.
We both were excited to meet Ruchika. We left our hotel by 6:30 am. On our way, I saw Meera’s eyes twinkling. She said can you believe my best friend is back. I could feel and understand her happiness because deep down I was happy too.

We reached hospital very early and had to stand outside. Meera called Ruchika’s father who came out with a special pass for us to visit Ruchika. Once inside Meera ran towards a woman to hug her. That was Ruchika’s sister Twinkle.
Twinkle had reached Delhi this morning to this big happy news. Her father said to me: That is my younger one. She is so lucky. She has brought her sister back from the dead.

The doctor approached Ruchika’s father to sign some papers. While signing papers I could see happiness dancing on his face. He Squinted at me and said we are taking Ruchika back home. The doctor says she is perfectly fine.
I nodded my head smilingly and looked for Meera so that we could meet Ruchika, but to my surprise, both the ladies were already inside Ruchika’s room while here I was engaged in talking to her father.
The old man could not hold his excitement. He was calling each and everyone to inform Ruchika’s come back from the dead!
I stepped into Ruchika’s room. Her face was glowing and the luster in her hair was miraculously back. Today she did not need any makeup to brighten her beauty. Her big smile was enough to compliment her looks.
I smiled back and held her hand. Meera and Twinkle said that they would go and get some coffee and left the room.

I took a deep breath and smilingly said welcome back to life lady. You scared the hell out of me. She smiled and hugged me saying, I don’t know why and how I feel connected with you, Julie. Also, thank you for praying for my soul.
I was taken aback and asked what? How do you know I did that?
She smiled and said in a naughty tone I know a lot now! I would like to offer my gratitude for thinking me as part of your family. I know you and Meera both cried a lot for me and prayed for my soul when you were on the flight.

But.. How do you know all this? I questioned and replied on my own only saying: Meera must have told you that.

She said no, nobody told me anything. I just know

But How? I was shell-shocked

She was smiling and her eyes were saying something which I was not able to interpret. That was when a nurse interrupted our conversation and told Ruchika that she could leave now.

The old man brought all the bills to Ruchika. She asked him to pay the bills using her debit card. He looked at her and she very coolly said: Dad the card is in your pocket.

He was stunned and said how do you know that.

Ruchika smiled and said: Twinkle told me. He stood there as if he was trying to recall something but by that time Ruchika went to the washroom to change.

He said to himself, but Twinkle was not around when I had taken the card. In bewilderment, he left the room.

We all went together to Ruchika’s home. Her neighbors were all around to welcome her and so were her relatives. That whole day, Ruchika sat in her living room like a smiling statue listening to everyone. I wondered how much patience she had.
I asked Meera since everything is fine now, I think we should go back to Banglore today only.

While I was talking to Meera, Ruchika overheard our conversation and requested me to stay one more night in Delhi.

But why I asked. She insisted that we stayed.
She asked our hotel address and our room numbers. She said, since it was impossible to talk here, she would visit us in the evening. In corous, we both agreed and left Ruchika’s home.
While going back Meera again planned to show me a bit of Delhi and have lunch somewhere in a restaurant. Lunch was okay but was I really interested in exploring Delhi, I asked myself.

We went back to our hotel to catch on some sleep. It was still 11 am when Richard called and I told him the story of Ruchika’s returning from the dead. He too was in shock but was happy too. I told him that I have to stay here since Ruchika had insisted and my dearest hubby agreed happily. Ummmm maybe he was enjoying a bit of his freedom I thought!

Meera called me asking if I was ready so that we could go out for our lunch and also for exploring Delhi.

I really had no option so we left. We reached CP and took a bus called YoYo bus. This bus basically takes you all around Delhi. The day went by happily. We did lots of shopping and we reached our hotel around 8 pm. We looked at the time and decided that we would get up early next day and go and meet Ruchika before leaving for Bangalore. Since it was too late to visit her home.

I went into my room and started packing my things. Suddenly the doorbell rang. I wondered why Meera had come back when I had just bid her good night. I opened the door and was surprised.

Chapter 8 Ruchika’s funeral

Embrace your pain the begining