How do we perceive things in our life? How do we differentiate between knowing and thinking… I have been contemplating on my thoughts for a while and searching for inner guidance. In silence I also knocked on the doors of my soul for inner guidance.
I slept over with this thought. In the morning, I woke up with plenty of memories hopping in my mind. Some flashes of memoirs in front of my eyes, some sounds of my lost ones whispering in my ears…
I sat in silence with myself and asked for guidance from the Universe. I was one more time taken back to the day I was born. I traveled to the present day in seconds. I recalled everything creating memories. My very first tryst with my life!! ( No, I am not dying. This happens with me quiet often and makes me more compassionate towards life)
The very first day of my school. This first sight of my school bus coming on my stop to pick me up, the very first smile of another kid sitting near window in the bus, my very first teacher with hazel eyes with a huge bun dancing on her head like Lord Shiva’s .I still remember her name! Manju Madam, my very first struggle after getting out of the bus in afternoon with my mother to make me stay with her as I did not wanted to go to the crèche. My very first friend in my crèche. How these very first things shaped me up into who I am Now!
I recalled my very first award in school for reciting poem. I recalled the happiness and proud of holding very first trophy for it and then proudly showing it to my grandfather.
Not all the Very first sights have been enjoyable creating good memories. Some ended up being my strict teacher’s too. I met people and experienced their behaviour, their learning’s, their frustration’s which sapped me. But yes, I also want to talk about my lenient teachers with their very first teachings, love ,confidence, the things that have made me happy and have given me courage to live my life .
While, recalling all these things this morning, I ended up realizing that it is not all about people who I love or hate. It is also not about their behaviour towards me, it is about how I have registered them in my thoughts which I ended up recalling today.
It is not about the experiences or moments I have lived .It is how I have perceived!
The first twinkle in my eyes when I saw stars given by teacher in my note book in unit tests.
The first friend I made, The first sensation in my body , when I had my first crush, The first song a boy from my class sang for me … mein shayar toh nai.. famous song of Rishi Kapoor , My first bus travel all alone to my office. My first nick name given by my boss and collegues. the first award I received for being the best employee, the first paid ride on bike. The office colleague had asked me to pay him Rs 5 because he had saved my bus travel costing Rs.4 and also saved my time and I was very safe with him. And I had actually paid him. lol.
There have been so many things which have made me laugh and which have made me plunge into depression.. I have been thinking or rather say realizing all this early morning today . Nevertheless, I ended up knowing that all that happens for the first time shapes us,
I thought this all had ended when suddenly, in afternoon today , I received a tweet from blogadda nominating me for #win15! Writing is my hobby and I really have no idea who reads what I write, but yes getting nominating for my writing skills for the first time, indeed bought a smile on my face and happy feeling inside. So here I was with my very first badge among thousands of well known sagacious writers and bloggers….
This very first sight of the tweet with a badge bought so many memories of how I have been appreciated in life as far as well appreciated homosapien. I don’t know for some I am an Angel and for some …. Who am I to judge… at present I am happy for this very first feeling knocking the doors of my heart and asking me to smile …
Thank you blogadda. Thank you to my readers. Thank you to my admirers. Thank you to all those who follow my write ups. Many thanks for getting me nominated… I don’t know what it feels like to win but I am enjoying the feeling of being nominated. I am having butterflies in my stomach. So happy and grateful to all of you for introducing me one more time towards this Very first feeling …
Love you all