My grand father left all of us in grief last month on 14th August, 2013. It was indeed heart breaking thing for all of us, coz he was not only the head of the family but resided in each and every family member’s heart with a story. A story which we all lived with him , in good times, in bad times , in ugly hours when his downfall started with his first stroke in 2009.
I too lived a story with him. For me, he was not just my grand father, for me he was my guru, who taught me how to read, write, who often used to scold me when I used to bring less numbers in my school tests.
Yes, if what ever I am today the credit goes to him. He not only invested his time, energy in me but loads of love.
When for the first time I stepped out into this world, he backed me off; when my heart broke for the first time he bought a soothing balm of his words to me and hugged me tightly.
I always had his shoulder to lean on whenever I faced betrayal from this phony world.
Love has a wonderful meaning in my life because of him. I often used to call him my lover boy. Yes. My grand father was and will always remain my lover boy.
My intensity to miss his physical presence in my life is in my heart which no one in this world can understand. A bond is broken along with my heart forever I guess.
But life moves on, I guess, and with life I too started to move on, missing him everyday with every single heart beat of mine. I often used to look for a sign from him, whenever I used to look at clouds while traveling, whenever I used to sleep, and entering astral world. I did found him astral and spoke my heart out that bought me solace but his empty bed and room often brings tears to my eyes which I am good at hiding.
On last Friday, I was recalling while traveling our good days when I used to travel around Mumbai, Gujarat, and Allahabad with him alone. I was tiny and he enjoyed carrying me into his arms and buying my popins and my favorite chocolates all of sudden it struck to me that on 14th September it will be one whole month without him! Tears rolled out of my eyes.
I reached office, during lunch time I had a sudden urge to browse net, I opened word press and started reading on blogs, and one blog caught my eyes.
A blog written by a lady Forever 21. Something made me clicked on the blog and I read that the lady lost her son just a month before his 21st birthday and leading her life with a belief that her son gives her sign every time. That made me think that my grandfather did not gave me any kind of sign after he left. Well I read it and got busy with daily work and left office exactly at 5.
In my heart a voice asked me to walk. I often, get an auto rickshaw easily but I followed my heart and kept on walking, I tried giving up in between by asking an auto rickshaw but all of them were refusing, what the hell was happening that day I could not understand, anyway I entered into a lane where the traffic was less, Out of the blues I saw a man carrying a parrot. My heart jumbled and instantly I stopped him.
When I was tiny I often used to see man sitting on Mumbai’s station with parrots and I used to enjoy asking for my future. But this time, I was not worried about my future. It was for fun.
He took out my card and said that your elders from above are watching over you and u need not to worry about your future. I gave him the amount he asked and clicked the pictures of parrot and started walking. Immediately an elderly auto rickshaw man stopped me and asked me to sit without asking me where I wanted to go. I hopped on to autoricshaw and told him where I wanted to go. I switched on to my music as usual and as I shuffled for songs I heard a song “I saw a sign” I realized that my grandfather actually gave me a sign that he is with me come what may.
Thank you daddy for the sign I asked for and thank you for being with me even though your physical presence is gone